Jesus, You have won me.

Hearing Loss & Ministry

          Last night at adorn the message was on John 9:1-12, when Jesus heals the blind man. Throughout worship in the second set it was such a sweet time with Jesus.
I was able to just reflect on hearing loss and the effect that it has on me.

I had written a few months ago about growing up with hearing loss, and gave a glimpse what it is like (http://malloryanne520.tumblr.com/post/10989657535/living-with-hearing-loss)

          I truly believe that God heals people; I’ve heard crazy stories of healings happen. I know that if God wanted to restore my hearing, and I no longer have to wear hearing aids, He can.

          I had a few of my closet friends come up to me afterwards and we just started talking about how they have been praying for me, and they wanted to last night. We also talked about how my hearing loss is also a ministry for others who struggle with hearing loss. Most of you know that I have a desire to work with families and children with hearing loss (weather they are deaf or hard of hearing). I honestly believe that I have hearing loss and wear hearing aids for a reason.

          When parents find out their children have hearing loss, and they have to go through the whole process of audiologists, trying to get hearing aids or cochlear implants (if they decide to go that route) and it can be a scary time for them. But when they see me, an adult, who is by the grace of God, doing well with hearing loss/wearing hearing aids. My prayer is that they will be encouraged. My desire is that they will see me, and it will strive them to do what is necessary so that their child with hearing loss can be successful in the hearing world.

          So when I say to the families I come in contact with, “I understand what you are going through”, they will know that I actually do mean it. They will know that I honestly do understand because I went through the whole process myself. I can sympathize with them and encourage them.

          Yes, absolutely you can continue to pray for hearing and healing. But I don’t want you to be discouraged or think that you have failed if you have prayed for me. I don’t want you think your prayers aren’t working or being answered.  That couldn’t be farther from the truth. I am in this season for a reason….and that’s bringing glory to Christ! I believe that His ministry wouldn’t be as effective if I didn’t have hearing loss. God has me right where He wants me. For that, I am STOKED.

I love, love, LOVE you all. 

Living with Hearing Loss.

The way I understand it is that when I was born, I had a few seizures…and that is most likely is what triggered my hearing loss. I have severe-profound hearing loss and I’ve worn hearing aids for as long as I can remember. They didn’t have the newborn hearing screening like they do now, so no one knew that I had hearing loss right away. My mom first noticed that the was something not quite right when she was giving me a bath and asked me a question… she noticed that I responded slower than I usually do, so she turned her head and she repeated the same thing and I didn’t respond. My parents took me to the doctors and basically the doctors told my parents not to expect too much out of me. I went to pre-school, and my mom wasn’t too thrilled with the services that were being offered after that, so she decided to homeschool me. She homeschooled my three brothers and I all the way to high school (we are not your typical homeschool stereotype family...my dads response to that “we are not a part of the cult”)
I grew up learning a little bit of sign language here and there.When I sleep, I take my hearing aids out. So my mom and I learned basic signs so that if she was trying to wake me up for school, she would be able to sign it rather than trying to scream it at the top of her lungs, but it wasn’t until high school that I started taking sign language classes. I’ve always lip-read, and to this day I actually have a difficult time understanding what you’re saying if I can’t see your lips. I actually hate playing the telephone game, because I can’t hear whispers at all. When you try to whisper to me, don’t do it in my ear….but make eye contact with me, there’s a much better chance for me to understand what you’re saying. I get really nervous answering the phone, even if I know you because I’m afraid I won’t be able to understand you right away (unable to see lips - texting is so much better for me). I hate being outside when it’s dark and I can’t see anyone (and their lips). Another hard thing is being in the car with a lot of people, especially if I’m the driver and if you’re sitting in the back, I wont be able to understand what you are saying unless I’m looking at you through the rear-view mirror. I hate watching movies without subtitles, which is one of the reasons why I don’t go to theaters as much anymore. I’ve never done well with talking in a large group before, even if it’s only 5 people…and 5 people I know…I hate talking in front of a class…I get nervous and talk really fast to the point in which no one knows what I am saying (working on that). Growing up, I was never self-conscious about showing that I had hearing aids, but I think I’ve always been a little self-conscious with how I sounded (why I get super nervous talking in front of people- or being “on the spotlight”). I would be self conscious if people would just look at them, but most of the time people knew what they were. Even to this day when kids look at them, I know they are just curious to what they are, if I tell them what it is and what it does, they forget about it the next second. The type of hearing loss that I have, is actually really rare for someone to speak as well as I do-PRAISE GOD!
I actually am thankful to be able to take my hearing aids out at night or some times throughout the day to have that peace and quiet. I don’t hear all the little things when I’m asleep. The only somewhat annoying thing is having to take them out when I am going in the water, because they can’t get wet, and then I really rely on my lip-reading skills!
That’s why my testimony about my baptism is so huge to me from the lake trip last year. The fact that I can’t usually hear at all without my hearing aids… yet when talking to Chris and Isaac in the water, I could hear every word Chris said as he prayed. That is mind-blowing to me… I am so thankful that I was able to experience it and hear everything….that was an act of God.

Because of everything that I went through growing up, (the surgeries, the audiologist appointments, speech language therapy, etc) I’ve always had a heart for working with special needs students. Teaching was the last thing I wanted to do (originally wanted to be a speech language pathologist)….that was just what God had in mind for Me….teaching kids with hearing loss….working with students who wear hearing aids, cochlear implants, or are deaf and only sign. I absolutely see God using my life experiences so that I can be an example to the kids that I work with or will work with and to be an encouragement to them and to their families. I graduated from high school in 2003, graduated from Biola with a degree in Communications Disorders in 2008 and I have two more semesters until I get my masters degree in Deaf and Hard of Hearing Education with California Lutheran University (and by the way, my current GPA is 3.9 :)….I know my dad would love nothing more than to find that doctor and tell him all that!! It is by the grace of God that I am one of the “exceptions” doing well with severe hearing loss.
God has blessed me so dang much with family that never gave up on me, and constantly blessing me by introducing me to insanely, incredible people at Reality and Adorn.
I couldn’t be more thankful and grateful to be who I am now.
All glory and praises to Jesus!

Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World

Salvation isn’t about what I do; it’s about what Jesus did.

     The Cross not only paid for my sins; it set me free from the bondage of the “shoulds” and “if onlys” and “what might have bens.” And Jesus’ words to Martha are the words he wants to speak to your heart and mine: “You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.”
     The “one thing” is not found in doing more.
     It is found by sitting at his feet.
     Catch that: Mary sat at his feet. She didn’t move a muscle. She listtened. She didn’t come up with clever responses or a doctrinal thesis. Her gift was availability.
     The only requirement for a deeper friendship with God is showing up with a heart open and ready to receive. Jesus said: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matt 11:28-29)
     Jesus invites us to come and rest, to spend time with him in this incredible Living Room Intimacy. Intimacy that allows us to be honest in our complaints, bold in our approach, and lavish in our love. Intimacy that allows us to hear our Father’s voice and discern our Father’s will. Intimacy that so fills us with his love and his nature that it spills out to our dry, thirsty world in Kitchen Service.
     In the Living Room. That’s where it all begins. Down at his feet.

“Having a Mary Heart In a Martha World. Finding Intimacy with God in the Busyness of Life” by Joanna Weaver. (pg. 11)

A little update.

Well…

It’s been two weeks since I’ve been MIA from Adorn prayer on Tuesdays and Friday night gatherings (the no facebook didn’t work, so we’ll scrap that –there were too many pictures and things I wanted to post – I only went without it for a week). I am SO stoked that I only have to get through one more week of no Tuesday prayer or Friday gatherings, then I’ll be back! Whoo hoo! (I’ll be able to start up Tuesday prayers on the 13th and Adorn on the 16th - just in case you were wondering ;) 

I’ll admit I almost caved in to go to Adorn this week, I miss you guys all so much, you have no idea! But I didn’t. I was able to rest (which was really good, since I started to get sick – I’m already getting much better! Praises!) and I’ve been able to study for my test that I have coming up next Saturday on the 10^th.

Last week was such a heavy week for me, there were a lot of downs, exhaustion, frustration, and stress. (NOT a good combo!) I’ve talked to some of you about it and I could definitely feel your prayers, I wouldn’t have been able to survive the week without them! THANK YOU THANK YOU!

The first week of school was crazy. Putting in a lot of hours I won’t be getting paid for (the true story for any teacher), a lot of meetings, etc. I was so blessed to be able to stay at the girl’s house in Santa Barbara all week last week to avoid having to drive home late at night and turn around to go back up the next morning (THANK YOU Ashley Stephen, Caitlyn MacKenchie,  Fong Lin, Nicole Yankey, Lynnsie Williams and Roxanne Love!)

We added some more things for our classroom thanks to Levi Naumu for putting together the play kitchen and Patrick McMahon for putting together the locker! They are both SO great! The kiddos are super excited about them!

So many people have been asking me when I’ll be moving to Santa Barbara, because it’s really ridiculous how much driving I do, and it’s really starting to take a toll on me.

Like I said recently, I live in Thousand Oaks and work in Santa Barbara (that’s an hour drive), two times a week I’ll have to drive from Santa Barbara to Woodland Hills for my classes with Cal Lutheran (that’s at least 1hr 30min drive), Adorn gatherings in Carpinteria, and then church at Reality Ventura).

I do believe that Santa Barbara is eventually when I’ll end up but I just don’t know when I will be able to make the move. (It’s hard that I am not able to help out with Reality Santa Barbara! But I just can’t do the drive 6 days a week, I’m waiting till I’ll be an official resident!)
I was talking to a friend about this the other day, and I know I could move into a guest house, a guest room, or something small to get started in Santa Barbara. However I feel that if I do that, I’m trying to speed things up on my own and that it isn’t God’s timing. I have to be faithful in praying about when I can move to Santa Barbara (in which I’ll be honest, I haven’t been praying as much as I should be) I need to be praying for the right house and praying for the right roommates. Anyone who knows me, knows I love having people over. I love hosting get-togethers, parties, etc.

I would love to have a place where I’d be able to have people come over, sleep over, and that it would be a home for others, not just for myself. I want it to be a community house (if that makes sense ;)

Adorn/Reality family you are so beautiful. Seriously blessed. (I’m taking this from Cody’s tweet earlier this week ;)

I’m so incredibly blessed by all of you. I’m so thankful and grateful by your encouragements and prayers these past two weeks. I’ve only been going to Adorn for a little more than a year…and let me say I’ve grown up in a church my entire life, I’ve never felt more loved and a part of a (church) family like I do with Adorn/Reality.

I treasure your friendships, prayers and encouragements.

This week I’m planning on cramming in as much studying as I can before my test on Saturday. I’m planning on just going straight home to study after work, not hanging around much in Santa Barbara after work, but after the 10^th I’ll be free for a little while, and seriously, I would love to get coffee or lunch with you!

I actually do so much better with one-on-ones than I do in bigger groups haha!
So please, please don’t ever hesitate to send me a message or text me. I absolutely LOVE hearing from you!

I ADORE all of you!  

Blessings!!

“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near” - Hebrews 10:24-25 (NLT)

Show me Your glory

I see the cloud, I step in
I want to see Your glory as Moses did
Flashes of light, rolls of thunder

I’m not afraid, I’m not afraid

Show me Your glory, show me Your glory
Show me Your glory, Show me Your glory

I’m awed by Your beauty, lost in Your eyes
I want to walk in Your presence like Jesus did
Your glory surrounds me and I’m overwhelmed

I long to look on the face of the One that I love
Long to stay; in Your presence is where I belong

Oh how we love You, oh how we love You
Oh how we love you, Jesus

Show Me Your Glory - Jesus Culture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1DFBr-pd0E

Blessed.

Super blessed to be with my brothers and sisters tonight in Santa Barbara. Thank you Cait, Fong, Lynnsie, Rox, Ash and Nic for hosting us! And I heard Lazo was the mastermind behind this :) THANK YOU!
We were served dinner tonight and I loved spending time with all of them! So blessed to be a part of this family!

(Just wanted to post a few on here for now, will post the others when I can come back on facebook :)

The Beautiful Offense Pt. 3: How We Ignore Jesus

http://vimeo.com/groups/adorn/videos/27650480

A break.

My life is going to be crazy busy in the up coming weeks…. I’m starting my first year of teaching on Thursday (yikes!)
For those of you who don’t know, I have been blessed with a teaching job in Santa Barbara at Adam’s Elementary (yes, by the golf course).
I will be teaching pre-k-2nd grade, in the Deaf and Hard of Hearing class this year.

In addition to getting ready to start my first year of teaching, I am preparing on studying for a test to finish up getting my teaching credentials. So after praying and thinking about it, I have decided to take time off from Facebook (it’s so distracting) until I am done with the test (the test itself is on September 10th - prayers would be greatly appreciated!!)

I have also decided to take some time off from Adorn. To be completely honest, I just need find some time to rest in the Lord fully, and not rely on Friday nights.

However, this doesn’t mean that I will stop hanging out altogether! I would love to see you, and I will be up in Santa Barbara all week this week. Some friends of mine have blessed me so much by letting me stay at their home this week while I am preparing for school!!

So, again feel free to e-mail,twitter, text/call me anytime.

Love you all!

e-mail: mal.mathias520@gmail.com
twitter: mal_mathias
phone: 805-410-0806

Lake Nac 2011.

This last weekend, I had the privilege and honor to serve at Adorn’s annual lake trip at Lake Naciemento. I was blessed to be asked to help take the role as planning out the menu’s this year. I was so excited to be serving on the Food Team this year because the lake trip was such a blessing and a life changing experience for me last year!

I had prayed about who to ask on the food team, and I asked Kristen Roach, Brendan Fereday and Patrick McMahon. They are all amazing, and my heroes this weekend. I wouldn’t have been able to pull off the weekend at all without their servant’s hearts.

We had met as a team several times before the lake trip, to plan for meals, pray together as team for all of you, and get to know one another as well.  We started planning and praying at least 2-3 weeks before the lake trip. We changed the menu several times, we went pricing at Cotsco about three weeks before the actual shopping trip to plan out our budget. We had our menu finalized the week before it was time to go on the trip.

On Thursday, before we left for the lake, Bri Cox, Kristen, Patrick, Brendan and I loaded up in my dad’s truck and Bri’s van, and headed over to Cotsco, for what was about to be the biggest shopping trip I have ever done. It took about 4 hours to do all the shopping, 9 carts and 3 flatbeds. We of course had a lot of onlookers, people asked what we were shopping for, and we were able to tell them. We had so much fun shopping, the workers even allowed us to have a “loading” area to leave the carts that were full so that we could go back and fill up more carts with food. The workers at Cotsco were wonderful, they opened up a lane just for us. We waited praying and hoping we weren’t going to go over our budget. We ended up being a little over our budget, so we had to take some things out, and the cashiers were SO patient. They even helped us decide what we needed/didn’t need to take out so that we wouldn’t go over! They did it with a smile on their faces and joking with us. It was such a blessing!

When it was time to load up our trucks, 2-3 other workers helped load up the food in my dad’s truck as well as  Bri’s van. We went back to church, unloaded everything, put what we needed in coolers, put what we could fit in the fridge, and we were ready to go for Friday.

This was one of the most challenging weekends I have ever experienced, but God was (and still is!) so faithful and good to us. I wouldn’t have traded it for anything. There were conflicts, it was a lot of hard work, but so worth it.

I’m not going to lie, it was hard not being able to be a part of some things on the trip. But at the same time, myself nor my team members felt like we missed out on anything. We were able to do things together and we had gotten so close. It was so sweet getting to know each other, the other team leaders and members. And yes, we were able to go on the boat a couple of times during the weekend! It was so much fun!!

For me personally the hardest thing was missing the baptisms. I was baptized last year at the lake, and it was such a huge moment for me, so it was hard not to see it this year. But I knew I was where I was needed and was supposed to be. I am so thankful and blessed to be seeing all the pictures on facebook! Thank you guys for sharing them!

We had SOOO much fun making and preparing the meals for all of you. I am so glad they turned out so good! (By the way, I would like to state for the record I had nothing to do with the tri-tips that was all Kristen and Patrick!!)

On Sunday night after dinner, I was exhausted. I was thankful for Brianna Lazo and Joann Avendano for offering to clean the kitchen!

I was blessed by Chris’ message on Sunday. I was thankful for the girls from my cell group that night. They were so wonderful in giving me a full on body massage (and thank you to everyone else for the massages!)

We were able to get everything cleaned and out of the kitchen quickly on Monday- thank you so much to the gear and boat team for helping loading up all of our equipment out of the kitchen on Monday morning! We couldn’t have done it without you! We were able to quickly get started on cleaning the kitchen. We wanted it cleaner than when we found it. Patrick and Brendan were wonderful cleaning and mopping the floors. It was SO clean I couldn’t believe it. At one point, Patrick yelled to get out of the kitchen while he was mopping. The people who worked at the clubhouse were impressed with everything and said it looked great. Praise the Lord!

On Monday afternoon after we left the church, I was in the truck with Bri and Kristen, getting ready to drop Kristen off. She lives in a gated community so after punching in the gate code, the truck was too close to the keypad and I scraped the whole driver’s side of the truck as well as pulling off some of the bumper. I was shocked. It was something that shouldn’t have happened but did. I couldn’t believe that had happened after all that it went through this weekend at the lake (it was the white sierra truck).

We were exhausted, and every day since then there’s been some sort of attack, especially on Kristen and myself. I haven’t been fully rested since the trip.

I have a lot of things coming up, that’s going to keep me really busy. I have some prep classes for a test coming up this weekend in Santa Monica both on Saturday and Sunday, I am starting work (teaching in Santa Barbara) next week, and I will be starting school in a few weeks (my classes are on Woodland Hills, twice a week).

I will also be taking a test that I need to have for my teaching credentials on September 10^th. There’s been a lot going on and it will just be a busy season.

This is the hard part.

After talking to my mom yesterday, and talking/praying with the girls in my cell group I have decided that I need to take some time off Adorn for a few weeks. At least until after I am done with my test for my credentials. So this means after this week, I won’t be going to prayer on Tuesday nights or Adorn Friday nights for the next three weeks. I love you all SO much and this is really hard for me to write/say this, but I believe for me to effective and fruitful in the future I need to spend some time to rest. My mom told me that even though church and the community is wonderful, is not my salvation. Jesus is! It was such a sweet reminder and I felt a lot of relief.

This also means that I will not be on Facebook starting next week until at least after September 10^th (but I’ll check my tumblr and twitter)

 However, that doesn’t mean that we still can’t hang out. I am working in Santa Barbara, so for people that live in SB please call/text me when you want to hang out and play. I would love nothing more!

Adorn family, I love you so much. I am so stoked and blessed to see what God did this weekend at the Lake Trip and so excited to see the fruit that is going to come out of this. I am so excited for the friendships that will grow. This is going to be such a wonderful season, and I can’t wait for it!

E-mail me when you want: mal.mathias520@gmail.com

Call/text me when you want: 805-410-0806

Twitter me when you want mal_mathias

Who is Jesus to Me?

Jesus is the Word made flesh.
Jesus is the Bread of Life.
Jesus is the Victim offered for our sins on the cross.
Jesus is the sacrifice offered at holy Mass for the sins of the world and for mine.
Jesus is the Word to be spoken.
Jesus is the truth to be told.
Jesus is the way to be walked.
Jesus is the light to be lit.
Jesus is the life to be lived.
Jesus is the love to be loved.
Jesus is the joy to be shared.
Jesus is the peace to be given.
Jesus is the hungry to be fed.
Jesus is the thirsty to be satiated.
Jesus is the naked to be clothed.
Jesus is the homeless to be taken in.
Jesus is the sick to be healed.
Jesus is the lonely to be loved.
Jesus is the unwanted to be wanted.
Jesus is the leper to wash His wounds.
Jesus is the beggar to give Him a smile.
Jesus is the drunkard to listen to Him.
Jesus is the mentally ill to protect Him.
Jesus is the little one to embrace Him.
Jesus is the blind to lead Him.
Jesus is the dumb to speak for Him.
Jesus is the crippled to walk with Him.
Jesus is the drug addict to befriend Him.
Jesus is the prostitute to remove from danger and befriend Her.
Jesus is the prisoner to be visited.
Jesus is the old to be served.

To me: Jesus is my God.
Jesus is my spouse.
Jesus is my life.
Jesus is my only love.
Jesus is my all in all.
Jesus is my everything.

JESUS, I love with my whole heart, with my whole being. I have given Him all even my and He has espoused me to Himself in all tenderness and love.

- No Greater Love. by Mother Teresa.